The Clueless in the DELL

The joys of getting a divorce, complicated by the fact that my ex has changed from a male human with a masculine name ("Guy", shall we say) to a female human with a feminine name ("Girl", for blog purposes).

Between us, we had subscriptions to six different Dell publications (puzzle magazines, mystery magazines, sf magazines). Time was, my four subscriptions were under my name ("Piggie", for our purposes); his two were under his name ("Guy").

I noticed somewhere along the way that somebody in their subscription department had decided to "tidy up" subscriptions to the same address/same surname, and all six subscriptions had started coming to "Piggie/Guy Surname", but didn't think much of it. I hope they held out for matching surnames at least when they made the decision, and didn't "consolidate" the accounts of folks in different apartments in the same building...

Fast forward to divorce/separate households. Lovely online forms; I try to change the ex's subscriptions to her new address and the name on hers to her new name.

[You would THINK someone at Dell had heard of divorce. Hell, I'd be inclined to assume someone at Dell has HAD a divorce their very own selves! But apparently not.]

Dell refuses to change the name, insists on moving ALL SIX subscriptions to the ex's new residence.

I move mine back and try to change name AGAIN; it moves all six, insists that the subscriptions MUST belong to "Piggie/Guy", will not change that. I sell house and move, change address, try to change name again.

To this day, still getting all six subscriptions at my address, all to "Piggie/Guy", cannot get that changed, cannot get them separated. Have decided the only way out of this morass is to let ALL subscriptions expire, but half suspect they will attempt to resurrect "Piggie/Guy" even as a new subscription. Attempts to contact customer service and reach a human online have accomplished precisely zip.

Having managed today (with the investment of time, patience, and a hands-free headset) to get the AARP accounts sorted out and the existence of Mr. No Such Person Not Married deleted (yes, I have physical possession of a membership card in that name), I'm contemplating tackling Dell tomorrow by phone.

If I'm brave.

Wish me luck.